What do you think of this short story?

Subject: What do you think of this short story? Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:06 am

Hi!
I decided to write a short story. Ill probably ask MJ ( no, not MaryJane, Miss Jennifer, we call her that :) :D ), my English teacher to judge it, but first i need an open idea to people that are closer to my age. Then ill get more ideas to put. Im not J.K Rowling, remember, so it might not be at such a high standard.

Well anyways, here it is!

My time has come to say farewell, to everything i loved so well. The things inside me, i wont lock up, as if they are a door prepared to be shut. Having so little, it felt so great. But people move on as lives were in stake. From injuries to illnesses, how it felt. To be yet sad, but loved so well. Now i risk all of that, just to get new shoes, a house, a hat. As my life was so indangered, i thought i was doing myself a favor. Now i left my family and friends, I went to the other end. The end I used to respect, but now Im part of, i feel so foolish, more injured. The injury is not in my body, but somehow in an unknown part, beneath what I know and far far beyond.
Id rather live on the street, than be trapped in concrete. With nothing but my stuff, the house sounds quiet, more in a huff. To finish everything i have left, even though there isn't much.

How do you rate this story?

- Awesome!
- Great
- Not bad
- Eh...
- WAY beyond dumb!

Subject: Re: What do you think of this short story? Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:18 pm

Great!
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Subject: Re: What do you think of this short story? Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:23 pm

I love it!! AWESOME!! Keep up the good work!!
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*You have to dream it to believe it!! Follow your heart where ever it may be!!*

Let the mist refresh you and bring you back to the world!

Reflect on your life, the deeper you go, the more you will find.

Subject: Re: What do you think of this short story? Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:28 pm

well thats more of a poem just saying, either way awesome.
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I'm gone away at camp 17th - 21st, I'll be back soon with some funny stories!

Subject: Re: What do you think of this short story? Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:15 pm

Thanks guys :D. OK it IS more of a poem, but hey, Im not a master mind genius at english. ( OR Math. I STINK at Math. Math + me = F!!! )
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